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Monday, August 15, 2016

Anchors Away!

I did it y'all. I finally fucking did it. You can't possibly begin to understand how monumental this moment is for me. It's colossal in its nature. After years of struggling with my weight and most recently months on top of aggravating months of trying to lose one simple pound, IT happened.

This weekend, I took a little cruise down to Nassau, Bahamas with my family for my daughter's graduation cruise. In a few short days she will be heading off to college, leaving me to care for the pup and kitty.  I'm not ready at all for this experience. Neither is she because she has yet to pack.

Anyhoo, we flew down to Orlando via Frontier Airlines. This was my first time flying with them and my introduction to the staff was nothing to be desired. My attitude was instantly turned up by the rudeness of the ticketing agent. I don't want to get into details but I am filing an official complaint and will rip that bitch to shreds like I wanted to physically do. Some people really need to work on their customer service skills. I had to thank my damn self for doing business with them because she surely wasn't going to utter anything nice my way. I would tell you what started it all but I don't have a clue. She was rude and disrespectful it seems because we stepped in line or she woke up that morning, one of the two.

Frontier had more space than Spirit but the seats didn't recline, the tray table was only four inches in width, and they charged for everything. No free cookies, peanuts, or beverages on this flight. Even carry on luggage cost. It was more than checking your bag and you were the one carrying it.

From the airline we set sail on Carnival Victory. Our shuttle bus there was cool but on the way home a whole nother story. This cruise was way different than the first time I sailed. Everything that used to be free, there was a charge for. From the lanyards to hold your ship ID to going to the beach party the ship was throwing. I remember last time stepping off the ship right into the fun. Beach parties, junkanoo parade by the locals but this time the only thing I stepped into was a barrage of people trying to hustle your dollar out of your pocket. The taxi cab drivers were the worst. They followed you until you either got a cab or cussed them out. I did the latter.

Within thirty minutes, I lost my mom and she lost her ID. Luckily she had a passport too or she wouldn't have been able to get back home. Ugh, talking about all of this is exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed my little getaway. Maybe too much.

If you've ever been on a cruise or a resort with all inclusive buffet you will understand that eating healthier is hard to do. Sure, they had lines were you could get wraps or fruit but the lines would be so long you would pass out from hunger. I didn't think I ate a lot, I never went for seconds at the buffet. At the sit down dinner, I rarely finished my food. You couldn't substitute the way food was prepared. The deserts were less than desirable so I didn't indulge pass a bite in most cases but I probably drank more than my share of calories. I had so many frozen drink (non-alcoholic) I lost count on how many. Other than that I was downing lemonade left and right. Don't fret, I still got my water in but I had just as many glasses of sugar as I did water.

Here's the breakdown of the meals. Thursday afternoon's buffet, I had chicken strips, chili cheese fries, and several cups of lemonade. I can't begin to count how many. Then I had dinner which was ceasar salad, roast beef, potatoes and cheesecake. Maybe I did go overboard but I didn't eat half of the meat or the cheesecake it was nasty. I caught a movie and indulged in a couple cups of air popped popcorn. If it would've had seasoning I would've an entire bag.Somewhere during the evening I had a virgin strawberry daiquiri. I danced the night away and then had two slices of pizza (which was basically half a pizza) for a midnight snack. It was nasty too; super thin, sauceless and bland.

Friday for breakfast. I had an omelette, french toast and roasted potatoes with a couple cups of guava orange pineapple juice. Lunch was wingettes and chili cheese fries, two types of cake (half eaten), not sure what kind, and again lots of lemonade and a frozen strawberry mango drink. For dinner, ceasar salad, fried chicken (ate half). Okay typing this out....I was out of control with this food. Oh don't let me forget the alligator fritters, the black forest cake and a spoonful of molten lava cake, and a bag of gummy bears. Then I had a late night meal cheeseburger and fries after the movie. I cant even begin to tell you how disgusting that cheeseburger was. I don't even think it was real meat. I took two bites and it was over.

The next morning, omelette, french toast and hash browns, couple more cups of the guava juice. By the way, the omelettes were so greasy. The chef sprayed the pan with Pam and then put more grease in the pan plus added grease to the spatula every time he attempted to unstick the omelette from the skillet. I always headed straight for the bathroom not long after breakfast. My body couldn't handle all of that oil. We were able to get off the ship and venture through the Bahamas, there I was able to get some jerk chicken and macaroni pie. I had a fanta orange soda with this. For dinner, spring salad, veal Parmesan, potatoes and I decided at this moment to stop eating deserts and got a fruit plate, two croissants.

The last day, more gummy bears, french toast, croissant, turkey bacon,hash browns, and OJ. At the airport I picked up some empanadas and once I touched down at the house a cheeseburger, fries and orange drink from Five Guys.  What did I say in the beginning of the post, I didn't eat much. Serious side eye!

Back to my momentous moment; to the one thing after all this time, I finally did. Drum roll please.. no anchors away! Because I threw common sense overboard. When I got back home and stepped on the scale, I hit two hundred pounds. Yes, 200!!! I am so upset and upset that I can't think of any word other than upset to explain what I'm feeling right now. In four measly days, I somehow managed to put on 4.6 effing pounds. I'm officially fat. I knew I was overweight but I never considered myself fat before. Well I'm there now. Fat as fuck and no one to blame but myself.

OMG, I could kick my ass looking at all I've eaten. If I had been keeping this written down during my stay I think I would have been more responsible. I have no one to blame but myself. No one to blame. I knew something was wrong on elegant night on the ship. I had this beautiful turquoise laced dress that I wanted to wear and I usually step into my dresses. Well, I couldn't get the dress passed my hips. Then I tried to go over my head, I normally hate this method because I have developed claustrophobia in some instances and putting clothes over my head with the possibility of getting stuck is one of those instances. I didn't get stuck though. I couldn't get the damn dress to shimmy down my arms. I chocked it up as I bought it too small not realizing I was packing on pounds.

Two hundred effing pounds. The weight I dreaded ever reaching is now not far from reach but my reality. I want to cry but that wouldn't shed pounds so no need to muster up the tears. The crazy thing is despite the bad types of food I consumed, I walked my ass off. Each day I hit between 6-10 miles of walking. I said it last week that walking, alone, no longer benefits me. My body is too used to the routine.

My mom has surgery today, so before I get up to take her to the hospital, I will do a workout with weights. Walking is no longer enough. Excuses are no longer allowed. My heart, my health, my mental state can't take it. I need to toss this weight overboard before I anchor myself into a health situation that I can't come back from.

1 comment:

  1. I was (am) very unhappy about hitting over 200 pounds too. It's a slap in the face, for sure. I like how you said "excuses are no longer allowed". Excuses are exactly how I got over 200 pounds in the first place! I need that printed on a t-shirt :) It's okay to be upset about reaching that weight, but make sure you finish with a plan to move away from it. You can do it!

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