Saturday, May 28, 2016

Random Write at 5 am

Today, I felt the need to write, at 5 am, the need to pick up a pen or strike the keys of a computer and just let the thoughts spill. I didn’t have an idea what would come out of my head when I first began. I don't think this will be poetic in its voice. I’m still clueless as to what will follow this word or the next.

I’ve been in bed for hours but sleep don’t come always. As I was dozing off earlier, my daughter woke me to ask for something so random at 3 am, her phone charger. I’m like, “what?” A phone charger at 3 am. She went to the car to go look for it and didn’t come back in the house for a half hour. She claims her and the dog were just sitting on the porch for a spell. I think that was a lie and maybe a friend dropped by on their way home. I was too tired to go see. Yep, I know, bad parenting. She is an overall trustworthy kid, except for the possibility of the lie but then again maybe she was being truthful, she is my child and sometimes a random spell outside on the porch in the middle of the night is warranted. The need to sit still and take in stillness. Yep, I do that often. When I was in Cali, I would do that nude. Although I did live on the third floor and my balcony was blocked by trees. When I moved back to St. Louis, I didn't enjoy that freedom of nature blowing against my bare skin often. My neighbor had a thing for me and was always lurking and looking, with his looking ass. 

I’m about to do some soul searching in the upcoming week. I had a financial blessing, I still don’t know how to invest. I’ve tried paying off my debts but now what? Buy a Subway or Penn Station. I hear they are affordable franchise fees on those. Ultimately, I would like to start my own publishing company. Yeah, maybe I will look more into that idea.

*sigh* I’m rambling but it feels good just to do so. So, back to the soul searching thingy. I love to travel but haven’t traveled outside of the US borders in a while. My study abroad January of 2015 was my last trisk. I know, that was just a year ago but I used to travel internationally at least four times a year. Man if you knew the details of some of those trips. I should’ve been a travel blogger. To see the world through my experiences, a single, socially engaging, financially challenged, black woman on the loose, ooh wee. Wait, I wasn’t single on some of those trips, so unmarried, socially engaging, financially challenged, black woman on the loose. Trust me, all those adjectives have had some type of impact on how my trips went. I was even a fugitive from my own country at one point. No, you won’t get that story tonight or this morning.

My light has been dimmed for so long I almost forgot how to turn it up. I’m ready for a new journey. This time, to relax and recharge the mind as well as a journey of self discovery. Every day I’m changing. I haven’t left the edges of my bed but things are becoming clearer as I type. Clarity is rewarding, especially when your path is illuminated and I feel like shining.

Check out my previous blog for my last travel adventure:

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